my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
a few days ago i wanted to blog and i was preddy damn frustrated, so yeah that explains the rather exasperated tone? i wanted to publish it but then blogger came along and told me that there's something wrong with the server or watsoever. so i saved it in notepad, lame i know but i didnt want my ten minutes of typing to go to waste! so, here goes :
oh gawd, i feel terrible in every sense of the word. i shall echo yanibunny and say that 'i've been doing everything except studying' (i think it went something like that).
been really knackered for God knows what reasons, since it seems like i've not been doing much except eating, sleeping and watching tv. and today was like the worst day since the holidays started. i felt this nagging ennui in my body today and then it was like i couldn't do anything at all. hello, you know something's wrong when you cant even lie on the bed and stone. GOSSSSHHH I NEED A LIFE?
and you know the most pathetic thing was i couldn't even be bothered to get out of the house to get myself breakfast or lunch? so i waited till dinnertime when mom finally got me out of the house to have dinner. sheesh sometimes im amazed at my ability to jes let time slip through my fingers, right before my very eyes. seriously i think i can see it jes seeping away or something sigh.
need to get that ipod thingy so i can finally run without worrying that my ipod will drop out of my pocket. then i shall attend the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE which i am proud to say i have not partaken any of YET. there's nothing like retail theraphy you know, but hey i have limits ogay ;) and thennn i shall attempt to train my baby gabriel to sit and stay. timmy has to go for his medical check up soon and gabby's due for his second jab. so many things to doooooo. not to forget, mug too. i think i'll end up doing more peripheral stuff than mugging. such is the life of a cheryl.
so what can i say? this goes on for only another 5 months? and then it'll be g'day mate for me (i hope lar).
ogay, and so for today:
went to get a manicure yesterday to add some colour to my horribly insipid life. at least it wont feel so boring when all i stare at is paper and pens. tomorrow, i have a dinner party to attend and somehow i realised that my manicure is going to stick out like a sore thumb. i got nail art done lar, and now i bet i'll look like some AH LIAN at the party. whatever la not like i care what they think.
i'm determined not to step out of my house today, and at least do something vaguely decent. let me set this straight with myself, watching 3 dvds in less than a week is nothing close to productive. but you know i dont really regret it, because they were great movies. i know i know im like really behind time. i jes watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind TODAY ogay? hurhur no one wins me when it comes to being laggy.
AND CAN I GO ON ABOUT WHAT A WONDERFULLY ROMANTIC YET POIGNANT SHOW IT IS????? mymy i can't believed i missed out on this show for like more than a year? acccccks. and coincidentally i watched the constant garderner on monday, which also starred kate winslet. and damn i'm starting to like her acting. so vastly different in both shows, yet equally convincing. i like i likeeee.
oh and the truth about love is sad too. but it's kinda lame sometimes, its like love actually which happens to be my favourite show of all time. i'm such a sucker for romantic shows ughh. these are the times that i'm convinced i never wanna be a guy. i love being a girl for goodness sakes. i can cry at romantic movies and not get booed at. i get to have doors opened for me, driven around, and most of all, being the supposedly weaker sex can be a useful excuse most of the time >:D but then again, everything has a flipside doesn't it? :)
written with ♥ at
1:10 AM;
